Globetrotting Gal

Have you ever wondered why some people seem more negative than others? Individuals with a constantly cynical view of the world or an untrusting attitude toward others are challenging to be around. And consequently, when people around them create distance, their negativity bias is again confirmed, creating a deeper and deeper gap to fill between the mind and reality. 

Where does all this negativity begin?

There is some evidence of a genetic predisposition for negativity bias. Researchers at Cornell University found that people with a particular gene that affects levels of norepinephrine in the body were more liking to associate negative meanings with words. Norepinephrine is a neurotransmitter in the brain that regulates arousal, attention, and stress reactions. Low levels of it often result in anxiety and depression. 

But there’s more to the negativity bias than genetics, our experiences – starting at birth – shape of view of the world. Passing a certain threshold of adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) can have detrimental effects on long-term health, relationships, and life opportunities. 

Some examples of ACEs include:

• Experiencing abuse or neglect
• Witnessing abuse
• Having a suicidal parent or family member
• Having a parent or caregiver who abuses substances

Children ages 0-17 who experience 4 or more ACEs are at higher risk for cognitive and physical impairments. Women, minority groups, and children in low-income households have a higher risk of experiencing multiple ACEs. It’s important to understand both risk factors and protective factors to help children avoid these experiences.

Trauma and the negativity bias

The brain and body’s stress response is greatly affected by past trauma. You may have heard of the “fight or flight response” – which is the body’s innate reaction to perceived danger. It is useful when you need to run from an erupting volcano, but less so when you shut someone out of your life for an imagined slight against you. Those with a greater history of trauma are more often activated in the fight or flight response. 

Cognitive distortion 

Everyone has some level of negativity bias. A few days ago, a therapist friend shared a funny story about how when he started seeing clients, he thought everyone who wore black was depressed. It was a connection he had drawn a few times early on, with legitimately depressed patients who favored black, and the bias stuck. He had to make himself aware of this cognitive distortion to stop creating such an irrational connection. 

What are cognitive distortions?

Cognitive distortions are realities we create in the mind based on our biases. They affect the way we interpret situations and social interactions. Here are a few examples of common distortions:

Personalization – the tendency to believe that everything someone says or does has something to do with you. For example, a colleague yawns during your presentation, and you assume it’s because you are boring. 

Catastrophizing – assuming the absolute worst. For example, you haven’t heard from your girlfriend in 12 hours and you assume she’s ready to break up with you. 

Overgeneralizing – drawing sharp conclusions from isolated incidences. Ex. You had a bad coffee at a local coffee shop and you think, “The coffee here is always bad.”

Always being right – This becomes a distortion when a person’s desire to always be right trumps evidence to the contrary or the feelings of others.

Are any of these sounding relatable? Check out this article from PsychCentral for a more complete list of cognitive distortions. Identifying which distortions you are prone to can help in reducing biases.

The good news is, there are ways to retrain your brain out of these distortions, which I talk more about in the next section. 

How do we overcome the negativity bias?

There are healthy and unhealthy ways to handle our negativity. To preserve our connections, we may do our best to hide from others when our moods are low, fearing being ostracized if we display negative tendencies. This can be healthy on occasion. For example, if you’ve had a bad day at work and need some time alone. But people who repeatedly avoid social situations out of fear will find themselves more and more isolated. 

Ways to overcome cognitive distortions that lead to anxiety:

1. Cognitive restructuring 
2. Affirmations 
3. Cognitive behavioral therapy 
4. Exposure therapy 

Cognitive restructuring 

Actively working to reframe your cognitive distortions is a great place to start! Whether you work with a therapist or complete them on your own, exercises that challenge your distortions will help you to see situations more positively in the future. This process is called cognitive restructuring. 

Ex. You imagine that your husband hasn’t messaged you all afternoon because he is with another woman. That is one explanation, but here are several others:

• He’s really busy with work today 
• He didn’t sleep well last night, so he’s taking a nap
• He’s spending quality time with a friend and doesn’t want to be rude 
• He needs a little digital detox

By imagining other likely causes, we can see that our initial thinking is biased/ only one possibility of many. Cognitive restructuring helps us to avoid automatic thoughts that hurt us, such as “I’m unlovable,” or “I’ll always be alone.”

Affirmations

Being a child of the 80s, when I think of affirmations I picture Stuart Smalley, an SNL character who repeats to himself in the mirror, “I’m Good Enough, I’m Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me!” The affirmations market has grown substantially since then. And I encourage you to find a few daily affirmations that resonate with you. 

Cognitive behavioral therapy 

A licensed cognitive behavioral therapist can help guide you through the reframing process, and challenge your negative beliefs. If you are able to afford therapy in combination with self-help exercises, you will have the best chances for success. 

Exposure therapy 

We react to new situations based on our memories. And so imagine, if we choked in front of the classroom the first time we had to share a report, we would be afraid to do it again. If it happened twice, we’d be even more afraid! Conversely, if we had a really good experience – such as winning a race – we’d be ready to do it again. And the more times we won, the more our confidence would grow. 

There is no way to erase bad memories, but what we can do is create new, positive memories to stack up against the negative ones. Once the positives begin to outweigh the negatives, we can recall them more easily in response to new stimuli. This is the premise of exposure therapy, which is very powerful for people who struggle with phobias and anxiety. 

Concluding thoughts 

As someone who suffers from anxiety, I know how challenging it can be to retrain the mind. I also know that it becomes more difficult as we grow older, ever slipping into the default mode network. But be encouraged to know that neuroplasticity (the ability to change our brain’s reaction to stimuli) is a lifelong phenomenon! We can learn new responses and we can improve our well-being and relationships with commitment to practice.